Jeremy Renner

A Fun Fictional Celebrity Story 

of 

Jeremy Renner 

from the movie "Hansel & Gretel"

The hypnotizing glint of the rare alexandrite was too enticing to resist. Even if it was just a photo, it spoke differently to one very persistent rare gem collector—Jeremy Renner. For years, he has spent time and resources to track the gemstone down. Finally, his exclusive asset called him up and spoke of an alexandrite gem as big as a baseball that was located inside an underground tomb. The ancient tomb was heavily guarded and revered by the old Drito tribe. To them, the alexandrite was the very essence of life on earth and beyond. It may be green under ordinary light but turned bright red with fire around it. He told himself that he just had to have it. He did every possible research about the Drito tribe and Tanzania itself and as soon as everything was arranged, he left for Tanzania alone.

Jeremy knew of the powers that the alexandrite had. It was known to be the gem of the Friday’s Child. His mother told him that he was born on a Friday and for him, to have the alexandrite in his possession was really written in his stars. He was sure that the moment the gemstone sensed his presence, something powerful would happen. It was the feeling that he always had in his gut and he knew that he had to follow it.

The asset named Bahati welcomed him and served as his guide in Tanzania. Jeremy instantly recognized Bahati because they have already been together in past expeditions.

“Hey, Jeremy!” Bahati greeted with a high five. “You haven’t changed, my brother. It is good to see you.”

“Thank you for this, Bahati,” Jeremy said as he placed his hand on Bahati’s shoulder. “You just don’t know what this means to me.”

“I must warn you, though,” Bahati said. “It won’t be an easy ride.”

Jeremy smiled and followed Bahati to the van. It was a three-hour travel to Bahati’s place. He told Jeremy that it would be best for him to stay with him rather than in a hotel. Jeremy and Bahati treated each other like brothers. Bahati couldn’t possibly let anything happen to Jeremy. Tanzania was Bahati’s home. To him, it was his responsibility to protect and guide his best friend… no matter what.

“So what can you tell me about the Drito?” Jeremy asked over a dinner of roasted wild chickens, sweet potato, and white elephant. Bahati and Jeremy both liked the flavor of coconuts and rum so they always had white elephant together. Bahati mixed the drink better than any bartender in any bar they went to.

“Brother, you have to understand that what you’re going to do has never been done before,” Bahati started. “The alexandrite gemstone that the Drito tribe has is said to be the balancing stone between the human and the spirit world. If you take it without knowing how to, then you will cause chaos. The spirits will be free to take whatever they want from the human world.”

Jeremy was silent as he drank his white elephant.

“Jeremy, I can’t let you do this,” Bahati said. “I agreed to lead you to the Drito tribe that has the alexandrite that you want but only to make you understand what it really is. Not help you take it.”

Jeremy Renner finally realized that what he wanted to do was a bit egotistical and selfish. He was a visitor in Tanzania and the last thing that he should do is take the alexandrite that the Drito tribe treasured. To be a guest in the tribe itself was a privilege already for no one was allowed to enter if they were not trusted by Afua—the leader’s daughter. Legend said that if Afua’s animal spirit did not find the person trustworthy, then the guest would never enter the premises of the Drito.

“All right, Bahati,” Jeremy said after a large gulp. “I will settle for the encounter. That’s it. I promise.”

 “You better be serious about that,” Bahati said as he poured himself another glass of white elephant. “Afua will see if you’re the real thing.”

“Afua?” Jeremy said as he offered his empty glass to Bahati.

“The Drito tribal leader’s daughter,” Bahati said as he filled Jeremy’s glass. “Beautiful.”

A few days of rest and thorough orientation about the Drito tribe followed. Bahati made sure that Jeremy would be able to pass Afua’s animal spirit. No one knew how to do this but a tribesman himself and Bahati was a direct descendant of the tribe’s priest.

“We sleep early tonight, brother,” Bahati said as he entered his quarters. Jeremy was still awake, tinkering with his iPad.

“I’m trying to Google the Drito for more information,” Jeremy said. “I can’t find any.”

“That’s ‘cause we have never been discovered yet,” Bahati said. “Now you know why you’re one of the privileged”

Jeremy turned off his iPad and tried to sleep. Afua…It means protection…Why would protection be the task given to a woman? Jeremy thought to himself as sleep slowly enticed him. He closed his eyes and slumbered quietly into the night.

Underneath the full moon, a dark beauty bathed in its pale light. Her eyes were closed as the evening breeze washed all over her. The air smelled of fragrant night blossoms and herbs. Fireflies encircled her. Something stirred in the dark beauty. Her jaguar spirit spoke to her during the moon’s full circle. Not far from her was her familiar—the jaguar. Their eyes locked as the huge cat approached his mistress. Then, like a domesticated cat, the jaguar curled up and placed his head on Afua’s lap. Afua caressed her companion. They shared a bond that was stronger than blood. Afua raised the jaguar since it was just a week old. Abandoned by his mother, the jaguar trusted Afua with his life and totally depended on her. She named him Tuponile, which means We are saved. A perfect name for a loyal and brave guardian of the Drito princess.

“Someone special will be among us soon,” Afua whispered as she stroked Tuponile’s coat. “A savior will be among us soon.”